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THIS IS FUNNY

It’s odd the things that make me laugh. The Onion cleverly subvert Garrison Keillor’s excellent, but eminently risible, Lake Wobegon books. It barely raises a smirk. Then they put Nicholas Cage in a fake mustache and I’m giggling and like a schoolgirl. Go figure.

STAY WITH ME (1972)

Hell, yeah.

“IT’S 7.30AM. I’VE JUST FINISHED DEER STALKING…”

As promised a while back, here’s the transcript of my “explosive” interview with celebrity chef, rhetorical question fetishist and all-round pompous arsehole Marco Pierre White, published in the Irish Times yesterday. Since I filed copy, he’s been dumped from his reality show in the US. To be honest, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer fellow… Read this article here.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS…?

Sara has a rather low opinion of Irish men in general. But there’s one Irishman for whom she reserves particular scorn: One prototypical idiot she regards as even more clueless than the herd. “Tell me Eooo-wen”, she purrs in that lugubrious Teutonic drone of hers. “What are you getting your girlfriend for Christmas? Binliners, perhaps? Tampons?” Read the rest of this entry »

FAITH ALIVE

1. Taliban fighters hand out 37 lashes against a teenage girl in the Swat valley, Pakistan earlier this week, for attending market with a man who was not her husband.
2. Genius YouTube video blogger proves the existence of God. Yip, it’s a pretty watertight case he makes.
3. Ultra-Orthodox newspaper airbrushes women ministers out of photograph of incoming Israeli cabinet.
4. Christian power ballads? Hell yeah!

VISIONS OF CODY/ON THE ROAD (1959)

THINK I’M GONNA BE SICK…

A CUP OF TEA. A bowl of corn flakes. Two slices of brown toast with margarine and honey . . . If someone had asked me on the tarmac what I ate for breakfast this morning, I doubt I’d have been able to recall. Hurling upside down through a bank of clouds at 250 miles per hour, though, I can recount every tiny detail, from the brand name of the margarine, to the expiration date on the milk… Read the rest of this article.

CHEZ MO!

After stopping off for a quick eye-opener en route, my associate and I are lucky not to lose our reservations at this delightful north inner city eatery.

Despite its’ obvious exclusivity – I am bundled in, he is shooed away – the atmosphere is refreshingly informal.

The décor is modest and unpretentious and, as I search about for a spot to hang my coat and scarf, the proprietress peppers her conversation with quips about my frequent drunkenness and occasional sexual incapacity… Read the rest of this article here.

“SINCE THEN EOIN’S LIFE HAS SPIRALLED INTO A HAZE OF HILARITY AND ADVENTURE…”

Just stumbled across this preposterously flattering, wildly inaccurate profile of me that a DCU student paper did in December 2005. To be honest, I had almost forgotten it ever existed. The interview really did take place. However, I dunno whether the guy’s Dictaphone malfunctioned, or he suffered an acid flashback during the transcription process, but none of the quotations attributed to me are even remotely accurate. Read the rest of this entry »

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS… HERE ARE YOUR HOSTS!?

I’m not supposed to talk about this, but it’s pretty juicy so what the hell? Tonight I was a guest on a screen test taping (not for broadcast) made by RTE. I’ve done this a few times before, for TV and radio – most notably when Tyrone Productions were looking for a co-host for Grainne Seoige’s afternoon thingy. The way it works is that they send a taxi around to your house and you get dropped home afterwards. It’s the presenter who is auditioning so the guests aren’t expected to do a whole lot. Easy money, in other words.

Upon arrival at Montrose though, it became apparent that this wasn’t your typical audition. Read the rest of this entry »