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Miscellaneous Amusing Items I Come Across #47

Oddly sinister use of quotation marks at a cafe my sister happened upon in Cork. Why do I get the impression that dishes are served with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

Chilean miners: “We’re not gonna lie… It got pretty gay down there.”

Published: Irish Times, November 15, 2008

End of the block party?

FOR YVONNE DOYLE, it was love at first sight. When the 34-year-old computer programmer from Raheny first locked eyes on fiance Pete Reid at a convention in Glasgow in 2004, the foundations for their subsequent relationship were already set in plastic. Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene, to be precise. “The line we always tell people is that our eyes met over a pile of bricks,” she laughs. “But actually it was across a table of robots Pete had just built.” The couple (now settled happily in Essex) are among the millions worldwide who share a enduring love for all things Lego. Read the rest of this entry »

In other news…

Ailing North Korean leader Kim Jung-Il paves the way for the succession of his son Kim Jong Not-Il-But-Would-it-Kill-Him-to-Lose-a-Few-Pounds. Read the rest of this entry »

“Christ it’s Hallowe’en again, isn’t it?”

Well, either that or war has broken out. Gunships are on the Liffey. The bombardment of Dublin city centre has commenced. No… I’ve checked the calendar. It’s Halloween alright. Read the rest of this article here.

Who uses the phone book?

ARTIFICIAL LIMBS, bingo equipment, choreographers, clairvoyants and detective agencies . . . If you need it, there’s a fair chance you’ll find it in the 2010 Golden Pages, which landed with a dull thud on doorsteps and in hallways around the capital early last month. Read the rest of this article here.

This is funny

“And for what? The muddled testimony of a henpecked chip shop owner?”

The palsied lies of his stubby-fingered wife? This SHOULD NOT be allowed to stand! This WILL NOT be allowed to stand! By God there will be JUSTICE for the CHIP SHOP FIVE!!! Read the rest of this article here.

Table quiz. Be there.

With consecutive victories at the Flat Lake Festival and Young Munster table quizzes fresh under my belt, The Ticket knew there was only one way to stop me completing the hat trick. (Click the image above to see it full size.) Quiz takes place in the Mercantile on Wednesday, November 3rd at 7.30pm. All proceeds go to ReachOut, an online youth mental health service.

P.S. Half an hour prior to the quiz, I’ll be auctioning off a full answer sheet, with all proceeds going to the Eoin Butler Benevolent Fund. (I kid, I kid…)

Perusing the Sunday papers this weekend, something suddenly strikes me.

I kinda hate the Sunday papers. The first six days of the week, newspaper articles tend to begin with sentences like ‘The government has announced…’, ‘Sources in Timbuktu report…’ or ‘Grave robbers in Ballyjamesduff have stolen…’ But come Sunday, it’s all ‘Is Bebo turning our children into zombies?’ or ‘Can worrying about my bum give me swine flu?’

The answer, invariably, is ‘Almost certainly not… But here’s 2,000 words and a photograph of Jennifer Aniston (for some reason) just for the hell of it.’ Read the rest of this article here.