Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
Miscellaneous
Response to An Bhfuil Tú Dáiríre?
This is my response to Caoimhin De Barra’s An Bhfuil Tú Dáiríre? video. I’ll start by making a couple of general observations, then I’ll get into specifics. I’d first note the discourtesy of Caoimhin using material from our video without asking permission. We would have given permission had it been asked. But it should have been asked.
Also, throughout his video, Caoimhin repeatedly emphasises that various points raised in my video have been made by others before me. I’m not sure why this is so important to him. I can only say that I’d personally never heard anyone make the vast majority of those points before. I wouldn’t have bothered making the video if I thought I was simply retreading old ground.
But, even if I had, even if some of the arguments I made have been made before, so what? What’s important is whether they have merit or not. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Mongrel Magazine, May 2005The Top Ten Most Annoying People I Work With
10. Lance Armstrong boy
Walks around with his sleeve rolled up and his arm stuck out like he’s carrying it in an invisible sling. W-why? Because he’s got a motherfuckin’ Lance Armstrong bracelet dude. Seriously, if he was second class he’d be an idiot. In an insurance office at 24 years of age he has to be either a mental defective or an interloper from some strange parallel universe in which people in offices are impressed by shitty yellow bracelets. Read the rest of this entry »
THE BUTLER HARA-KIRI GAMBIT
‘You’re not doing very well, I’m afraid.” It’s Wednesday morning and Eamon Keogh and I are playing chess on the banks of the Grand Canal. It’s a glorious sunny day and a gaggle of swans have glided over to see what’s going on. But the two-time Irish champion is unimpressed. He tuts quietly and leans across the table to offer some constructive criticism.
“Both of those were terrible moves, to be honest with you,” he says. “I mean, your first move was bad. But the second is practically an international disaster.” He shakes his head. There are many renowned opening strategies in chess. This one I’m calling the ‘Butler Hara-Kiri Gambit’. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, September 3 2009AND YOUR NEW FLATMATES ARE…
So you’re finally moving into a place of your own? Congratulations, first and foremost. In a world that never fails to deliver its share of letdowns and crushing disappointments, this is one rite of passage that actually lives up to the hype. Before outlining some of the comparatively minor pitfalls that may lie ahead, it is worth taking stock again of what precisely you stand to gain. Read the rest of this entry »
IGNOMINIOUS ENDS
There’s no nice way to go, is there? The meek can take some comfort from the prospect of dying peacefully in their sleep. The vainglorious will dream of dying on the battlefield, fighting for some noble cause. But the vast majority of us would be much better pleased with a nice cup of tea and sit down if it was all the same to you.
And yet we’ve all got to die sometime. If it be now, ‘tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, then perhaps tomorrow evening when you’re texting your friend Tracey about French homework. As Shakespeare said, “The readiness is all.”
For these poor bastards, though, the old readiness just wasn’t their strongest suit: Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Mongrel Magazine, April 2007THE TOP TEN SONGS PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
10. I’m Satisfied With You by Hank Williams
Although barely literate, and entirely degenerate, Hank Williams remains one of the most adroit lyricists in the history of popular music. He was, after all, the man who wrote masterpieces like You Win Again and Your Cheatin’ Heart. Its probably safe, therefore, to assume that he was aware of the tightrope he was walking with the song I’m Satisfied With You.. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, September 16 2009WHO USES THE PHONE BOOK?
ARTIFICIAL LIMBS, bingo equipment, choreographers, clairvoyants and detective agencies . . . If you need it, there’s a fair chance you’ll find it in the 2010 Golden Pages, which landed with a dull thud on doorsteps and in hallways around the capital early last month. Read the rest of this entry »
THE TAYTO YEARS
This week, I’ve been inveigled into writing on the topic ‘Food Memories of the 1980s’. It’s kind of a tall order, given that I was only a small boy during that decade. It was all a blur of penny sweets and Subbuteo as far as I can recall .
Go on, they said. There must be a few special Eighties food memories that stick out… Well, there was that time Duran Duran dropped by my house and we ate Rice Krispie Buns and played Space Invaders together.
Really, they gasped? No, of course not. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, February 9 2008THIS IS NOT A JOKE SHOP. THIS IS AN ADULT FETISH SHOP. SERIOUS SHOPPERS ONLY.
“This is not a Joke Shop” warns the sign at the entrance to Basic Instincts in Dublin’s Temple Bar. “This is an Adult Fetish Shop. Serious shoppers only.” It is with as much solemnity as I can muster then, that I press the buzzer and step inside. The shelves are stocked with adult DVDs, magazines and toys. Commanding pride of place at the front of the store though is a mind-boggling assortment of bondage and S.&M. paraphenalia.
This may not be a joke shop. But my basic instinct is to laugh. Nervously. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, September 19 2009JE VOUS PRESENTE… LE CHRISTMAS JUMPER
We Irish men are renowned for our sartorial nous and exquisite appreciation of couture. When we’re not pouring over style bibles, we’re scouring clothes shops and boutiques for bargains, mixing and matching styles, and talking, always talking, about the latest designs and trends. Fashion for us is a drug. A drug to which we’re utterly addicted.
Well, okay . . . not all of the above is strictly true. In fact, if any of it applies to you, you’re one of a prominent, but demographically paltry, minority of swanky Irish men. Read the rest of this entry »