1. “The Sea Was Angry That Day, My Friends” monologue (The Marine Biologist)
Jerry has set George up on a date. Since George is unemployed, Jerry (for some reason) has pretended that his friend is a marine biologist. During the date, George and his new love interest happen upon a beached whale. Earlier in the same episode, Kramer practices his drive by firing golf balls into the sea. 2. Answering machine (The Susie)
George’s girlfriend wants to break up with him. So he’s avoiding her, because he wants to take her to a function first to impress his workmates.
3. “If I Hear You Correctly, And I Think That I Do” (The Switch)
This isn’t a clip: this is an entire storyline from one episode. George doesn’t even appear until about a minute and a half in. But it’s very funny and Jason Alexander steals the whole episode.
4. “I’m The Opposite of Every Guy You’ve Ever Met” (The Opposite)
Self-explanatory. Worth noting how Jerry is always most supportive of George when he suspects his friend’s plans will end in disaster.
5. “And You Want to be My Latex Salesman?” (The Boyfriend)
The punchline was improvised during the take.
6. “My Mother Caught Me” (The Contest)
One of the best episodes they ever did. Note how deftly the subject of masturbation is raised without specifically being referred to. That scene is the funniest, but the best line in the episode (it has to do with an amusement park) is here.
7. “Anna Digs The Bad Boy” (The Little Kicks)
The point is made, I think.
8. “The Queen is Old Fashioned” (The Engagement)
Although the viewer could hardly have forgotten about George’s stinginess, selfishness, dishonesty, insecurity, and neurosis – this is inserted at the beginning of The Engagement episode as a quick reminder.
9. “It Has Come to My Attention That You And The Cleaning Woman Have Engaged in Sexual Intercourse” (The Red Dot)
Larry David – on whom the character of George is based – has often mentioned this as one of his favourite ever moments. Presented with irrefutable evidence that he has had sex with the cleaning lady on his desk, George’s mind flits through every possible excuse he could make before settling upon…. Well, you’ll have to watch it.
10. Shrinkage (The Hamptons)
I could explain but, urgh, it’s late, I don’t get paid for this and – fuck it – even if you don’t know the episode, you’ll figure it out. The next bit is here.
P.S. Embedding blocked on most of those clips for some reason, hence why I’ve only pasted links for most of them. Also, I wouldn’t have dared select George Costanza’s greatest hits without consulting my friend and esteemed fellow George-ologist Darragh. Thanks a lot to him for his imput!