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IN YOUR FACE HOUDINI: ILLUSIONIST ESCAPES RAPE CHARGES

david copperfield2
Ilusionist David Copperfield will not be facing charges over allegations of sexual assault made against him. Yeah, I know… who gives a shit? But check out the hilariously sleazy image the Huffington Post used to illustrate their report (not the same image as above.) Egads, it really begs the question… How is this man not a rapist? I mean, look at him. That’s your case right there! My favourite bit is where the alleged victim’s lawyer says she isn’t surprised that charges are not being pursued, “given the jurisdictional issue of prosecuting him here for something that happened on his private island”(!) He has a fucking private island too!? Oh for Christ’s sake, how is this man not in prison? How is he walking the street? He’s like the Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab of sexual predators! How many more clues do we need?

Lest we forget…

David Copperfield’s “Show Participation” document

January 15th, 2010.

15 Responses to “IN YOUR FACE HOUDINI: ILLUSIONIST ESCAPES RAPE CHARGES”

  1. fintan mezz Says:

    I’d normally be in favour of the presumption of innocence but in this case I’d be willing to make an exception

  2. Colin Says:

    David Copperfield was THE magician in the 80/90s, still is I guess. While Paul Daniels was making different coloured water come out of a kettle, David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear, walked through the Great Wall of China or was getting cut in half by a giant buzzsaw (www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0_VSBA4FQI).

    After him, all other magicians had to raise their game just to get noticed.

    However, his relationship with Claudia Schiffer always seemed so sexless that I thought he was built like a Ken Doll due to a horrible accident. Guess I was Tiger Woods wrong.

  3. Eoin Says:

    You can’t be serious?? He only tuned in once in our house and that was when he “vanished” at the Bermuda Triangle. Same as that you could hear all this transparently fake background chatter from the cameramen, crew etc. going “Where the hell is he?”, “Keep shooting, keep shooting…” etc. etc.

    A lot of derisive laughter on our end. Never put him on again.

  4. Colin Says:

    @Eoin – Yeah, it’s like it was all part of a staged illusion. Ignore the added theatrics (mostly for the Americans) and just watch the tricks. Watch that clip I posted and ignore the guy who shouts out “move your feet!” towards the end.

    Are you more of a “so was this your card?” guy? Or all magic is kinda shit? Penn and Teller, surely? – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KecktyU46yI

  5. Eoin Says:

    Ah come on, the entire thing is risible… I watched the first one you put up. If they hadn’t had to put the hatches up again after the blade was pulled back, if he’d just stood up in one piece and dusted himself off I might have been slightly impressed.

  6. Colin Says:

    It’s magic, the whole thing is a house of cards. One poke and it all falls down.
    Pity you weren’t round at the time of Jesus, though.

    “He’s got a bottle of wine hidden on his body somewhere I tell ya!”

    “No way am I turning my back. You make those fish and loaves appear NOW!”

    “Real nails my ass, gimme a hammer boys, I’ll put them in myself”.

    Could have been a different world.

  7. Eoin Says:

    You’re slagging me for not being gullible is it, Colin? Ouch, that hurts like.

  8. Colin Says:

    Naaah, it’s just the difference between magicians and those who act like what they do is for real (Uri Gellar), an entertainer and a conman. Guess I just enjoyed this stuff more as a kid.

    Anyway, so Conan O’Brien has been robbed of the Tonight Show and looks like (as of now) Leno is getting it back.

  9. Eoin Says:

    Haha… snap! I just put up a post about that and I’m possibly about to put up a post that references the other person you mention…..

  10. fiona Says:

    Okay that guy just looks evil. Is he posing as Jack the Ripper or what?

  11. Eoin Says:

    No I think he’s just a pompous, irony-oblivious idiot.

  12. jax Says:

    I remember Mongrel dubbed him David Rapeyfield.

  13. The Bad Ambassador Says:

    Private island?

    That’s less rapist, more Bond villan!

  14. Eoin Says:

    @ Jax – yes, that was the work of my esteemed former colleague Michael Freeman as I recall!

    @ Bad Ambassador – well okay, he’s either a sexual predator, a Bond villain, pedophile, serial killer or a pyramid scheme organiser. One of those. Definitely.

  15. Gee Says:

    He is one creepy mothefucker

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