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Those last minute Leaving Cert revision tips in brief…

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The countdown to the Leaving Cert is almost at an end. A month from now, when 138,000 nervous students sit down for their first examination, they’ll know their chances of securing a university place, well-paid job, desirable home, attractive sexual partner and prospects of siring anything other than ugly, unintelligent children rest entirely on how they perform in the weeks ahead. Read the rest of this article.

April 28th, 2011.

11 Responses to “Those last minute Leaving Cert revision tips in brief…”

  1. Usher Says:

    Last Minute Maths Tuition Available.
    All Levels Including Some University.
    085 1380000

  2. Eoin Says:

    Tute on, Dan. Tute on.

  3. Usher Says:

    Thats all thats ahead of any of them young fellas and young ones eoin boy.
    theyll end up giving grinds to obstreperous pups for small money come 2015.or working for tomorrow.or have a sex change.,an idiot boy named maguire-usher as well he’s always grinding.”Tute on”its a good thing youre not sitting any tests-making up your own words like.Tutor on.ah i mean…

    here’s a puzzler-cavemen lived in caves long ago-but where are the caves because there’s hardly any caves where i live and furthermore the stallacties and stalagmites are all intact.bin laden would be hard pressed to find a cave is all im saying-or fred flintstone.peadar pluaise-liar.anyone who lives in a cave is a banger.
    theres always the mature student route and you get to pocket your grant.if the chinese only copped on wed all live there-nice weather nice food nice carry on alright.

    i mean youd only get a c for that now-”last minute revision tips”,those last minute revision tips in brief its called-thats a c like.be under no illusion.thats the standard-clubodea? 65/70%.

    I remember a film one time where there was a handicapped youngfella trying to make a pass at his teacher-it wasnt charly which was some film for one film but another one-this character ended up wheeling him self of the school roof because the teacher gave him a c.but to his love letter!

    oh god says i.the e-xamit smart tips are good actually for anyone doing maths.

    on the subject of caves for anyone who cares,i have an idea for a house.
    it is dug into a sea cliff.the cliff is all cliff but there is a window and i have a big house there inside in the cliff with me and cait and(who would have the second biggest wedding in the world would it be rihanna like or what-)ah itd be a glorious house-have that on me.

    a bit of a farm
    cliff
    house
    cliff
    rock cliff sea

    long after your leaving cert is over youll find youll be doing well to live in a dream house such as i have described.oh all that awaits you(lion isteach an bhearna)i could go on another bit myself but i wont.

  4. Eoin Says:

    I’m seriously considering doing a post on your top 10 greatest comments, Dan. BTW, is that your phone number above? Should I delete it?

  5. Usher Says:

    yeah eoin do boy,it wouldnt be the first time you said something like that,asked me up to dublin the time of the mongrel too yeah sure fire away,as long as its in the irish times.im fairly taken aback now i must say,i mean by all means.who wouldnt like that-delighted.ah this is tricky talk for me.no wonder im a day replying,me in the irish times wow!an interview with dan!a lot of people dont get that.

    fans of my blog,indeed anyone who has an e at their keyboard or a t for tripping will be aware of dan’s aliases over the years.

    good morning dan what time is it where you are?
    its the same time the morning time.i had the radio on there and it was poor.
    well dan may i say how much i definitley enjoyed some of the comments you posted on my blog over the years.
    i couldnt even look at most of them now.
    really?
    so long as it makes its way to the irish times eoin i dont mind.
    hows life treating you-how are women,treating you?
    well eoin as you know no women read your blog so you know yourself,not great is all ill say.
    my god can i just say your accent-is that real!
    it is,thats my accent and its gotten me barred from pubs in towns i hadnt been in for up to five years.i’m touch and go in a few in dublin kilsheelin and not amind the town i love so well but that does not love me-14 lifetime bans!
    thats like something bob dylan would say-are you a fan?he said that about chaos.that he liked chaos but chaos didnt like him.
    did he now-mumbojumo.i cant stand him.like a rolling stone-juiced in it,was that college-drink like?
    i think so.
    do you like the irish times?
    ah i do some days id read nearly all of it,other days then id go without,may i say i like your shuffle strip a lot.
    tahks very much dan,one of your favourite parts?
    certainly!ahm what else,not much else,the odd good article-the science is always bad,a lot of the paper is bad.
    what dont you like then
    the magazine-i think the magazine is fucking shit.
    go on.
    ah eoin i couldnt be up to satirising this green and blacks chocolate crowd and-ill tell you one thing keep them out of the bog!i hope no carpenter fashions these people a hay knife or a slean or a pike altho youd buy a pike.
    why not dan-are you precious about the bog?
    well youre the blogger.
    a foolish pun-arent you fond of them?
    well as vs naipaul used to say there was a fella one time who used spend his day making-making not concoting puns-and his head finally got tangled up where boy
    can i cut across you there,my god thats poor,vs naipaul where did you get that line from?
    i read about one page of him one time and i liked the man.and i knew it would come in handy,i was a fairly serious oasis fan-ill stress the word a serious oasis fan.
    ho ho,i kind of know what you mean.
    you kind of do.
    excuse me!
    i was quoting the mighty boosh there apropos of
    okay,tell,so what will you do.
    well this interview eoin then ill listen to the end of the radio watch a bit of jeremy kyle maybe tidy my house,tidy my house some bit,have a bit of food,have something small to eat do nothing for a while.go on the computer then ive a few jobs in town milldew spray/college grant stuff/take my shoes to the cobbler/maybe buy a new mobile phone its full up and the memory card thing is giving me trouble so ill have to download some file to see if i can transfer stuff onto the computer thats all really maybe a cycle-maybe read the irish times!ive no money living in a grand house.rent is robbing me-e600 a month!
    well its been a pleasure to talk to you,i dont know is this irish times material though.
    i know yeah-that paper has gone to shit hasnt it-is fintan otoole going to take it over?
    i don’t know dan.
    have you seen who he follows on twitter-isnt he like a first year in university!hes going to take it over so ah i dont mind him hes not the worst of them.
    no i like fintan o’toole alright.
    yeah.
    i suppose tom humphries is gone
    id say without a doubt dan.
    always that stacatto shit out of him,paul.galvin.he couldnt write.for.
    (dan makes a gesture like hes eating out a child)the v thing with your tongue.
    yeah!one more thing dan is that your number and don’t you think its a bad idea to have it on the internet and on such a popular irish site.
    it’s not no,i lifted it from your article.

  6. Eoin Says:

    Wait, what? I asked you up to Dublin at the time of Mongrel? The only person I remember asking up to Dublin who I didn’t know were that Irish neo-Nazi black metal band. That wasn’t you, was it??

  7. Usher Says:

    ah god no,some fella had written an article about marvin gaye and i said this is atrocious and corrected an apostrophe in an article that had a line about reading finnegan’s wake in a wind tunnel and how myself and my friend had come up for the opening of an art gallery after a feed of legal yokes and ended up staying the night on the streets drinking with fellas because we blew the money and other than that now i enjoyed reading this issue etc.so the reply was yeah next time youre up in dublin be sure to come up and see us.how many years ago that was i don’t know,i was delighted at the time with this.and there was no more made of it.

  8. Eoin Says:

    I don’t remember the article. Was it me who emailed you or one of the other lads?

  9. Usher Says:

    e-mail-no.ah nothing like that of course not,just a gesture-i used like being on that site-i remember arguing about norman mailer and rip torn and maria doyle kennedy and plenty more besides.
    http://www.tidylittleracket.com/
    i actually broke the other guys website about a month ago with one comment.they haven’t been back.there aren’t many sites on the net,in ireland at least you could actually go on for a bit of crack.those guys took it to heart a bit didn’t they but sure what.

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