Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year

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It’s a (Right-handed) Man’s Man’s Man’s World

tin of sweetcorn
You win this round, right-handed can opener.

January 31st, 2010.

18 Responses to “It’s a (Right-handed) Man’s Man’s Man’s World”

  1. massey Says:

    Well you’re opening it upside down to begin with Eoin. Do they have a Left-orium in Ballyhaunis I wonder??

  2. Eoin Says:

    It’s a pride thing now Massey. I ended up getting Chinese tonight but the can is in the fridge and round two is tomorrow night!

  3. Colin Says:

    Few dents, forced lip with a knife and I think those are bite marks.

    Tough being an impatient left-handed man in an intolerant right-handed world. Funny too.

  4. Colin Says:

    wait a sec, did you use the corner of that laptop too? …wow

  5. Eoin Says:

    I’m an strong, independent left-handed man. I’m like the Gloria Gaynor of opening tinned goods.

  6. Eoin Says:

    Ah, sure I tried everything Colin!

  7. Lisa Says:

    Do you have a Swiss army knife? They have those tin-opener attachment things.

  8. Eoin Says:

    No, unfortunately I left my utility belt in the Batmobile, Lisa… Oops, I may have said too much.

  9. El Kid Says:

    Jesus man, you’re fucking hopeless. You should sign up to have one of the those care in the community come around every day.

  10. Conal Says:

    Inanimate object: 1
    Humanity: 0

    Sort it out Eoin.

    apparently the can opener was not invented until 50 years after the invention of canned food. The swiss army must have been fairly useless back then.

  11. Eoin Says:

    @ EK – show me the dotted line!

    @ Conal – I wouldn’t blame all of humanity for my personal failings.

  12. Cormac Says:

    Supposedly about 2500 left handers die every year from using right handed products. Walk away while you can, we ciotogs don’t need any more martyrs.

  13. Eoin Says:

    As I said, I’m a strong, independent left handed man. 7pm this evening (or whenever I finish babysitting) is… the rematch. Tin has probably oxidised by now, but I don’t give a shit.

  14. Eoin Says:

    Okay I think I’m prepared to call a moral victory at this point…

    http://www.eoinbutler.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/sweetcorn22.jpg

  15. Colin Says:

    Congrats, you have won a FIFA “fair play” award.

    Or you can gamble it all and go for what’s in the box…

  16. Eoin Says:

    I know what’s in the box… Increasingly putrid sweetcorn I still cannot extract!

    (P.S. Colin, I’ve tried contacting you today via every known method bar carrier pigeon. What’s the story?)

  17. Colin Says:

    Let’s see what he could have won….

    It’s a Fisher Price “My First” left-handed can opener.

    Ahhhhhh! Back to hobo-style stabbing tins with knives then.

    (Yeah, just saw all that, phone off etc)

  18. Chris Says:

    Ah being left handed is a pain in the bollocks sometimes. I remember the childhood pain of being given the wrong pair of scissors when you had to cut out stuff and looking like a right eejit when you had cut whatever it was to shreds. Incidentally I decided to search for the Leftorium and it led me to this

    http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/acatalog/kitchen_implements.html

    No more shall you be defeated by tinned goods.

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