Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year

Tripping Along The Ledge


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This is Funny

internet
Absolutely nothing to add here. But, aesthetically, I really hate posting consecutive images without text. So I’m going to waffle a bit until I’ve generated two short paragraphs of meaningless text to break them up. My grandmother and her friends used to do this thing at wakes where they would freestyle for hours on end, riffing about different people they knew, and how they were all related to each other.

Do you know Seamie Lyons? I do, from Kilmovee, he’d be a first cousin of the Snees would he? That’s right, is there one of the Snees, now that I think of it, married to a guard out in Glann? There is, yeah, and that fella has an uncle on his mother’s side would be on of the Neachtans from Culnacleha, a quantity surveyor. Do you know? I do. They have a son a priest in America, don’t they? What’s this his name is again? And so on, ad infinitum. Thank you.

June 3rd, 2010. 17 Comments »

Unusual competition prizes #1: Grope Thierry Henry’s testicles

ladbrokes
As the man said, if you’re not in, you can’t indecently assault a famous footballer.

June 2nd, 2010. Comment now »

Ireland to Israel: “If any harm comes to any of our citizens, it will have the most serious consequences.”

irish army
Wow, Ireland is flexing it’s muscles on the international stage. Our Taoiseach is throwing his weight around, if you will. To observers in some quarters it could seem bizarre, comical even, that a nuclear-armed Middle Eastern superpower would be threatened in such a manner by a remote island nation whose armed forces consist of a man, a rife and a sheep dog.

Let’s not forget, however, that Israel has crossed this country once before in recent months. The Dubai assassinations in February were carried out by Israeli agents travelling on fake Irish passports. Well, Israel, there’s an old saying in Ireland… Actually, it’s a saying in Mayo, but it’s probably in Ireland too: Read the rest of this entry »

June 2nd, 2010. 13 Comments »

Faith Alive

jesus saves
1. Just as I was almost tiring of this segment… This story relit my fire!

2. Ugandan pastor has done some research on homosexuality. Long story short, STOP EATING DA POO POO!!

3. Three Jesuses living in one house and its 1957 – why the fuck isn’t this a reality show? Read the rest of this entry »

June 1st, 2010. 3 Comments »

This is Funny

holmes and watson
Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. On their first night away, they lie in their camp beds looking upwards. “Look at the cosmos, Watson” says Holmes. “What does it suggest to you?”

“To me,” replies Watson, “It suggests the insignificance of man and the infinite power of an Almighty who created such a wondrous universe… What about you old boy?” Read the rest of this entry »

June 1st, 2010. Comment now »

Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations. [UPDATED]

-Israeli-soldiers-aboard--005
The American political consultant Roger J. Stone Jr. is often credited with coining the embattled spook’s mantra, “Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations”. As P.R. strategies go, it’s combative. But if your job has you frequently trying to defend the indefensible, it may be as good a credo as any.

See, I have a grudging respect for the Israeli government’s press operation. Mark Regev is almost always dealt a shitty hand of cards. But he’s the T-1000 of public relations men. He’ll make the case, however preposterous: Up is down. Black is white. Even when, say, a film crew captures Palestinian children mown down on a beach by Israeli shells, he’ll still somehow grind out a score draw. (Hamas forced us to kill those kids. This is exactly what Hamas wanted etc. etc.) Read the rest of this entry »

June 1st, 2010. 22 Comments »

Take Care of All My Children (1984)

June 1st, 2010. 3 Comments »

Published: Mongrel magazine, December 2007

Mind That Child!

with Eoin Butler

fatherchild1a
Life’s no picnic for a mild-mannered, self-deprecating, sound as a pound, suburban stay-at-home Dad… Just ask old muggins here! When our two were born, I decided to opt out of the rat race and become their full time primary care giver. Somehow, it just felt right. Also, I’d been stealing large quantities of office supplies over a number of years, so it seemed prudent to quit while I was ahead. Read the rest of this entry »

June 1st, 2010. Comment now »

Bloody tourists…

Fucking tourists
Look, I’m delighted they’re here. I’m delighted they’re clogging up the footpaths. I’m even cool with the leprechaun hats, if they absolutely have to. What really offends me though, as the years go by, is the way tourists still, to a man, refuse to ask me directions.

They’re here each summer, these nice American (and French and German and English) people, standing helplessly on the street corner, mouths and maps hanging wide open in the breeze. They’re lost. I’m on hand and willing to help. But who will they turn to? For reasons unclear, the answer would be anyone but me. Read the rest of this entry »

May 30th, 2010. 10 Comments »

Nothin’ on You (2010)


Okay, I’m outing myself. I fucking love this track. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. My favourite couplet from the song has to be “Baby you’re the whole package / and you pay your taxes!” (See, that’s why I could never date Lester Piggott…) Read the rest of this entry »

May 30th, 2010. 9 Comments »