Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
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Lame jokes Bob Dylan has told onstage while introducing his band (1988 – 2011)
“At the back, the meanest drummer in the world. When we played in the Middle East, he killed the Dead Sea… David Kemper!”
“You might be wondering what’s written on his shoes – those are foot notes!” Read the rest of this entry »
I Was Glenda Gilson’s Stalker
Mea culpa. It was I, Arthur Vandelay, with an address at Manor Street, Stoneybatter, and an envelope in Ballyhaunis, Co. Mayo, who stalked the model Glenda Gilson. It was I, a humble window cleaner, who knowingly and with malicious intent, bombarded her with nuisance phone calls, nuisance social calls and convenience foods.
Who gatecrashed glitzy film premieres waving stacks of homemade sandwiches, shouting “Wait Glenda, wait! You forgot your sangwiches!” Who heckled her in the Vagina Monologues, claiming she was actually born a man. And I who finally, when confronted by the gardai, turned my interlocutors’ very accusations back upon them, by use of the cunning mantra “I know you are, but what am I?” Read the rest of this entry »
Notes from overground
My friend Rick says I should write more about my day-to-day life. I’m not entirely convinced. Sometimes I tell my mother about my day-to-day life. She doesn’t tell me fuck off I’m boring her to death exactly. But you can read between the lines. She always sounds caught unawares when I stop talking.
Well, she’ll say. Sure isn’t that always the way? Read the rest of this entry »
The Devil’s Double
Here’s the trailer for The Devil’s Double. It looks like a decent romp, albeit one based entirely on the testimony of a complete fantasist. The truth about this man is here. Some stories are too good to fact check evidentally.
As part of this man’s ongoing campaign of harassment against his Irish ex-wife, he recently set up a fake blog in her name. The Sunday Times journalist Ed Caesar and I are both namechecked there. If the blog weren’t a source of embarrassment to the person concerned, I’d post the link just to give you some idea of what an incredibly crude, nasty, vindictive little man he is. (Thanks to Colin for the video!)
Those last minute Leaving Cert revision tips in brief…
The countdown to the Leaving Cert is almost at an end. A month from now, when 138,000 nervous students sit down for their first examination, they’ll know their chances of securing a university place, well-paid job, desirable home, attractive sexual partner and prospects of siring anything other than ugly, unintelligent children rest entirely on how they perform in the weeks ahead. Read the rest of this article.
Let’s just say, teenage boys will be teenage boys.
“You mean he’s?”
“As soon as the lights go out. Regular as clockwork.” Read the rest of this article here.
America (1956)
This is a recording of Allen Ginsberg reading his poem America (from ‘Howl’), set to Tom Waits’ Closing Time instrumental, which is itself taken from the latter’s 1973 debut album. If that’s not confusing enough, the track is illustrated for this YouTube treatment with photographs of Jack Kerouac. I’ve no idea why. Read the rest of this entry »
“I’ve a shovel in the boot of the car. We’ll be digging holes tonight…”
Johnny expects to pick thing up where we left off. Exactly where we left off. He starts by teasing us about a failed carpet cleaning business we set up in college. It’s not “Go home and get your fucking shine box.” But it’s not far off. Read the rest of this article here.
And a mediocre birthday to you!
Today is my mother’s birthday. It’s an ordinary birthday (without a zero on the end) so I think it deserves an ordinary present. Therefore, with the mediocre present-buying acumen for which I am renowned, I hereby present… Read the rest of this entry »