Christmas

This is funny

…and seasonal. David Sedaris’ “Six to Eight Black Men” from the album ‘Live at Carnegie Hall’. It was originally published in Esquire Magazine

WHAT YOU WANT FOR CRIMBO, BABE?

It’s minus 8 degrees C in Ballyhaunis. Someone left the turkey in the boot of our car overnight. By morning the bird has frozen solid, causing recriminations at the breakfast table. Read the rest of this entry »

YOU GOTTA CLICK…

…here.

(N.B. This is now the most clicked link the history of my site. I’m moving it to the top again on the grounds of its insane brilliance. Ho ho ho…)

Published: Evening Herald, December 2008

Hogan’s

It’s Saturday night and Aidan is down in the dumps. I’m not sure what his problem is. But no doubt he’s going to fill me in. He’s not a man to bottle these things up, that’s for sure.

“Would you say I’m getting fat?” he asks, eventually.

I look him up and down.

“You are fat,” I reply. “I’d say you were getting fatter.” Read the rest of this entry »

“HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED BULIMIA? I HEAR IT WORKS WONDERS…”

“Do you think I’m getting fat?” he asks, eventually. I look him up and down. “You are fat,” I reply. “I think you’re getting fatter…” Read the rest of this article here.

“HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED BULIMIA? I HEAR IT WORKS WONDERS…”

It’s Saturday night and Aidan is down in the dumps. I’m not sure what his problem is. But no doubt he’s going to fill me in. He’s not a man to bottle these things up, that’s for sure.

“Would you say I’m getting fat?” he asks, eventually.

I look him up and down.

“You are fat” I reply. “I’d say you were getting fatter.” Read the rest of this entry »