clampers

IF YOU’VE GOT TROUBLES

Had dinner in the Ritz Carlton this evening. Seated next to the man himself. He didn’t stay long. He talked a lot, didn’t listen much – which suited me, as I had absolutely nothing to contribute. The conversation was mostly about food, naturally. I did what I always do in these situations: I nodded morosely and didn’t speak. People in food circles probably think I’m really dark and enigmatic. Ha… if they only knew! Read the rest of this entry »

FUCKING BOLLOCKING CUNTING CLAMPER BASTARDS*

I’m pretty sure I know who clamped me this afternoon. He’s an Irish guy in his late forties or early fifties and I believe he spotted me in traffic and followed me to settle a score. This was my third run in with him this month and, at this stage, what he’s doing to me seems pretty close to harassment.

Both of the lorries visible in the background of this picture are illegally parked on double yellow lines and have been left unmolested. My car (yeah, I know, the chicks go crazy for it) has been parked in a loading bay, which it is entitled to be, for two minutes longer than the 30 minute limit and has been clamped while I’m visiting my sister and her child. Read the rest of this entry »