kama lifestyles

How to get the girl

THE POLISH GIRL with the tea trolley is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. A tall, athletic young man in a tight-fitting black T-shirt is standing in the centre of Room 202. His hair is meticulously tousled and a tacky necklace pendant bobbles on his chest. He is a rising inter-county hurling star, but that wouldn’t ring any bells. She’s more likely to have noticed that he’s holding the hand of another (identically kitted-out) young man and leading him in a graceful twirl around on the spot.

On the far side of the room, a third boyband clone is filming the pair on a digital camcorder.

I couldn’t tell you exactly what this hotel worker is thinking. But I’d be very surprised if the words “gay porn” aren’t high up there in the mix. Read the rest of this article here.

How To Get The Girl

THE POLISH GIRL with the tea trolley is trying to work out what the fuck is going on. A tall, athletic young man in a tight-fitting black T-shirt is standing in the centre of Room 202. His hair is meticulously tousled and a tacky necklace pendant bobbles on his chest. He is a rising inter-county hurling star, but that probably doesn’t ring any bells with her. She’s more likely to have noticed that he’s holding the hand of another (identically kitted-out) young man and leading him in a graceful twirl around on the spot.

On the far side of the room, a third boyband clone is filming the pair on a digital camcorder.

I wouldn’t presume to know exactly what’s going through this girl’s mind at this moment. But I’d be surprised if the words “gay” and “porn” aren’t pretty high up in the mix. Read the rest of this article here.

ALL’S FECKIN’ TERRIFYING IN LOVE AND WAR

The best way to describe Felix’s approach to chatting up women would be to compare it to Upham’s, the squad translator from Saving Private Ryan, attitude towards discharging his firearm. I witnessed same trembling. The same sweating. And the same sense of doomed resignation. Read the rest of this entry »

“WE ARE LIVING IN A WORLD OF SHIT…”

…And other fond recollections of my Dating Boot Camp experience. Read the rest of this article here.

“WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, PILE? WE’RE GOING TO FITZSIMSONS… AND THAT’S FINAL!”

The dating boot camp piece I referred to last week is in the Irish Times magazine tomorrow. I’ll post it up here on Sunday but, in the meantime, there’s a sneak preview after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO THIS WEEK (DATING BOOT CAMP, DISNEY STARLET, MY LOVELY HORSE)…

1. Dating Boot Camp: Back in February, myself and Corway (who posts on here occasionally) were having a pint in Sinnotts bar in Dublin city centre. It was a Champions League night and girls were coming by with strip club fliers. Invariably they would hand me one and ignore Peter. So I started developing a bit of a complex about this. Read the rest of this entry »

Published: Irish Times, June 27 2009

How to get the girl

THE POLISH GIRL with the tea trolley is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. A tall, athletic young man in a tight-fitting black T-shirt is standing in the centre of Room 202. His hair is meticulously tousled and a tacky necklace pendant bobbles on his chest. He is a rising inter-county hurling star, but that wouldn’t ring any bells. She’s more likely to have noticed that he’s holding the hand of another (identically kitted-out) young man and leading him in a graceful twirl around on the spot.

On the far side of the room, a third boyband clone is filming the pair on a digital camcorder.

I couldn’t tell you exactly what this hotel worker is thinking. But I’d be very surprised if the words “gay porn” aren’t high up there in the mix. Read the rest of this entry »