Next month RTE launches its search to find Ireland’s Greatest Person. As usual when the national broadcaster adapts a successful format from abroad, the resulting mess will likely serve only to remind us of what a small and, in the wider scheme of things, insignificant nation this actually is.
The BBC’s 100 Greatest Britons list in 2002 included personages as august as Churchill, Shakespeare and Darwin. Our list runs to only forty names. But it still finds room to indulge the preposterous candidatures of Mssrs. Daniel O’Donnell, Michael O’Leary and fully three (three!) members of the Boyzone camp: Ronan, Stephen and Louis Walsh. Read the rest of this entry »
Screw it, I’m going to the airport anyway. I’m off on holidays. Proper holidays this time. If you hear from me between now and September, I’m a sad, sad loser. In the mean time, if you haven’t visited this site in the last few weeks, this article is probably the funniest one you missed. (But you have to read the comments too.) This one is the most freakishly popular. (Ditto.) And this one actually caused someone I know in real life to come on and tell me I’m a wanker. (Ditto.) Read the rest of this entry »
Urgh. Posting this today mainly because (a) it was requested by regular reader Gueuleton and (b) I’m about to go on holidays tomorrow and haven’t time to write anything new. I should mention that this was published quite a few years ago now and that I don’t necessarily stand over one single word of it today. Except the bits that are funny, obviously. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: The Dubliner, August 2010
In my childhood bedroom, the detritus of my youth lies all around: Tintin books. Football medals. Handwritten cassette tapes of The Smiths. But I’m not here to reminisce. My mother is hovering at my shoulder. She has an agenda. She always has an agenda.
Last time I was here, there was a skip waiting outside the front door when I arrived. When I asked about it, she just shrugged. “Come in”, she said. “The dinner is on. The tea is wet. We can talk about it later.” Read the rest of this entry »
In a time when there was no internet, no DVDs, no television, no amplified music. Would I have paid to see a French man fart in a theatre. Yeah, fuck it. Why the hell not?
Oscar-nominated British actress KEIRA KNIGHTLY and Irish gardening legend GERRY DALY have teamed up to launch their own chain of 24-hour convenience stores across Britain and Ireland. But first they want YOU to come up with a snappy name for their new venture. “Keira and I have been racking our brains,” admitted a frustrated Gerry. “Ideally, we’re looking for something that (a) cashes in on our celebrity names and (b) also reminds customers about our late, late opening hours.” Read the rest of this entry »
look i am not joking..will some nice young lady please be my new girlfriend…
i am desperate for comfort.. i am good in the kitchen ,quite tidy
…not particularly a monster in the trouser stakes..
but i do pen the occasional good tune……(please no freaks
…i am willing and capable to be gay but riGht now i would like a LADDDDDDEEEEEEE……X