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You did what?

I whisper it again. “I think I just exposed myself to a little old lady”. She buries her face in her hands… Read the rest of this article here.

Get cape. Wear cape. Get high.*

[*Runner-up caption was the Laurie Anderson-referencing NO, SUPERMAN]

You’re not a clever man, are you Mr Larkin?

Gotta don my Snopes cap and call bullshit on this one, I’m afraid. This story has done the rounds of virtually all the bulletin boards today. It’s funny, it involves someone pissing in SuperValu and it casts a Roscommon person in the role of national idiot. Of course, I’d fucking love if it were true. But upon cursory examination, it’s hard to see how anyone ever fell for it. Read the rest of this entry »

Faith Alive

1. What’s the difference between a saint and a masochist? Not a whole lot, provided you’re the Pope.

2. “The Lord directed that I go to the sun tanning salon and get sun tanned more evenly on their suntanning beds.” A fascinating (and, on balance, pretty sympathetic) snapshot of life inside the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints from this month’s National Geographic. Read the rest of this entry »

Karl Spain Wants to Eat a Woman*

Been getting a bit of flack over my interview with comedian Karl Spain in last Saturday’s Irish Times last summer. “So mean to poor Karl Spain,” says one of his distraught fans. “He’s a lovely guy.” My friend Mark takes the opposite view. “Jesus, Butler,” he writes. “You could have gotten away with calling Karl Spain fat a few more times… ‘Fat-faced funnyman Karl Spain’… ‘Karl Spain Wants to Eat a Woman’… Something subtle like that…” For the record, there was no offense intended or, I hope, taken. Besides, Karl Spain is big enough to stand up for himself. Ba dum kssht. (*allegedly)

You can read the interview here.

Miscellaneous Amusing Items I’ve Come Across #24

Does anyone else suspect that, when it comes to sex, they might just be a tiny bit out of the loop? Memo to self: install monkey bars in bedroom. Repeat: monkey bars…

“Driving thousands of simpletons into a frenzy of ecstatic hysteria…”

Is it just me or could Charlie Brooker’s entire TV career be shot down in five words? Well… why… watch… it… then?

Yeah, if it’s okay with you Batman, I might get out at the traffic lights?

Batman: “Best put put 5c in the meter.”
Robin: “Come on Batman, no policeman’s going to give the Batmobile a ticket!”
Batman: “This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part.”

Batman: “I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin. But it’s the only surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics.”

Robin: “Where’d you get a live fish, Batman?”
Batman: “The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.” Read the rest of this entry »

Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall (1944)

To celebrate my goal I kissed the team badge…

Well, technically speaking, in my excitement I kissed the name of the shirt sponsor: Sylvester Ganley – Plumbing and Heating Specialist… But I think I made my point. Read the rest of this article here.