Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year

Tripping Along The Ledge


Brendan Thompson getting his mickey caught in his zip in junior infants: a critical analysis

Picture it: a vibrant tableau of rural Irish childhood in the 1980s. Two lines of infants, marshalled by an elderly nun, stand in a freezing corridor, waiting for their turn to use the toilet. There is some perfunctory jostling and pulling of hair. But for the most part, it is a peaceful scene. On the wall behind, a portrait of Pope John Paul II smiles down serenely. Suddenly, a small boy, Brendan Thompson, bursts out of the toilet clutching his crotch, sobbing “Sister Maura, Sister Maura… My mickey is stuck in my zip!” Thirty or so of his classmates, male and female, jostle for a better view. Ouch. It does look a nasty one alright.

Sister Maura doesn’t flinch. “It’s not your mickey Brendan”, she replies calmly. “It’s your penis.” She puts on her glasses. “Now let’s have a look at it…”

Verdict: ******
(N.B. Bonus star awarded for hearing a nun say the word “penis”.)

June 10th, 2009.

11 Responses to “Brendan Thompson getting his mickey caught in his zip in junior infants: a critical analysis”

  1. Adrian Says:

    is this an Icelandic folk tale? where’s the dénouement? what happened to poor Brendan’s mickey and/or penis in the end?

    we deserve answers!

  2. Karl Says:

    Best article of all time?

    It’s a nominee at the very least.

  3. Eoin Says:

    “Best of all time?”

    Ha! Take that Chekhov, Joyce and, er, Adrian…

  4. Adrian Says:

    i’ll take that, Eoin

    top stuff as usual…

  5. El Kid Says:

    Worth noting karl’s comment left at 3.14 in the morning. You know that’s his ‘crazy time’, right?

  6. Eoin Says:

    @ EK – The clock is wrong on this site. He actually left that comment at 4.14am – which, if I recall correctly, is his ‘lucid and perspicacious time’.

  7. El Kid Says:

    I’m guessing Brendan is now Brenda

  8. Darragh Says:

    happened to my twin bro on rag week in galway. He cut the jeans away from his zip and got a bus to Kells with his mickey throbbing painfully away under his trousers – original zipper still intact. When they finally released it in Navan hospital it was a proper bleeder.

  9. Eoin Says:

    If it’s going to happen to you, Rag Week in Galway is about the best time it could. I stood on four inch nail that was sticking out of a wooden pallet during Rag Week in Galway. It went through the sole of my shoe and about an inch into my foot.

    Dutch Gold is a powerful anesthetic – I didn’t feel a thing!

  10. massey Says:

    Ha Ha Ha – I was in Eoins’ class for Junior and Senior Infants and can vouch that this story is true. Except the nun was really called Sister Pauline and the boy was ****** *******

  11. Eoin Says:

    Holy crap Massey, are you trying to get us all killed?

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