Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year

Tripping Along The Ledge



Eddie GogginsA CUP OF TEA. A bowl of corn flakes. Two slices of brown toast with margarine and honey . . . If someone had asked me on the tarmac what I ate for breakfast this morning, I doubt I’d have been able to recall. Hurling upside down through a bank of clouds at 250 miles per hour, though, I can recount every tiny detail, from the brand name of the margarine, to the expiration date on the milk… Read the rest of this article.

April 2nd, 2009.

6 Responses to “THINK I’M GONNA BE SICK…”

  1. AJ Moloney Says:

    “The reason I’m not wearing a helmet was because there wasn’t one in the entire airfield big enough to fit my head. That’s not a joke.”

    I feel your pain. I’m in possession of a cranium so massive that bits of paper and other office detrius have been known to take flight and orbit me.

  2. Eoin Says:

    If it’s a massive head-off you’re looking for Alan – when I was born the midwife handed me to my mother and said (this is true) “Wow, I’ve never seen one with such a massive head!”

    Beat that!

  3. Matt Says:

    My head is so big when it sits around the house, it really sits around the housse. ha!

  4. AJ Moloney Says:

    Beat that? In my sleep!

    One time I slipped and fell down the stairs of my house here in Cork and, for all extents and purposes, broke my fall with my head.

    There I was at the bottom of the stairs feeling a bit woozy, so being a bit of a Cautious Kyle, I go to the doctor who in turn has me sent for an X Ray in the next few days.

    After the X Ray of my skull was complete the doctor came in and started off the diagnosis with the following sentence (and this is pretty much verbatim),”Have you ever heard of a thing called a Neanderthal?” and finished with “What you have there is much like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer had an extra thick skull that protected his head like a helmet.”

    It’s a gift and a curse. So it’s like, yeah, I’m invincible but then my debs photograph looks like a girl standing next to the planet Jupiter in hired suit.

  5. Eoin Says:

    When I was in Peru I went to this massive market in this tiny Quechuan village that wasn’t accessable by road. I wanted to buy one of those cool black cowboy hats the local gauchos wear. Unfortunately they hadn’t any to fit me. I was about to leave, but the stall owner said to hang on for a few minutes. Eventually these three ancient old men, like the village elders or something, came out and were looking at me and talking to each other.

    Eventually I turned to the tour guide and said, so can they get a hat to fit me, or what? He said, oh no, he doesn’t have any hats for you, he just wanted these guys to see the size of your head.

    I imagine 2005 is now knowns as The Year the Massive Potato-Headed Gringo Came in those parts.

  6. AJ Moloney Says:

    Back in 2004, a buddy of mine got a motorbike (a pretty cool Honda Shadow). He asked me if I’d like to have a go off it. I, of course, said I would so he hands me the helmet.

    “Don’t worry,” he said, seeing how I was eye balling the helmet, “it’s the biggest one they had in the shop.”

    I put it on. It got as far as my fucking eyebrows. I couldn’t get it any farther.

    I stood there for an awkward couple of seconds. Do I try to ride the bike like this? Am I the first man to ever think the sentence “is my head is too big to ride a motorbike?”.

    When I think back, that was the biggest size they had in the shop. We speculated that if I was to ride a bike safely I’d have to cut a hole in a safe, put my head through it and leave the door open.

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