Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year

Tripping Along The Ledge


The Pokemon Directive

Back in Ballyhaunis – and broadband (hurrah!) – for the weekend. Finally, catching up on last week’s De Niro-starring episode of SNL. It was patchy as these things are, but I did really enjoy the host’s turn as Robert Ludlum-esque thriller writer Harlan Kane. The full, ever-more-ridiculously titled bibilography in full after the jump: The Medici Codex
The Perseus Enigma
The Genghis Rubicon
The Abacus Conundrum
The Harlequin Protocol
The Ichabod Formula
The Pinochet Sudoku
The Nostradamus Mechanism
The Godiva Gyroscope
The Pokemon Directive
The Vespucci Containment
The Marmaduke Betrayal
The Picasso Imbroglio
The Brenda Effect

I was reminded of Christopher Hitchens’ old anecdote about Salman Rushdie:

At a dinner party that will forever be green in the memory of those who attended it, somebody was complaining not just about the epic badness of the novels of Robert Ludlum but also about the badness of their titles. (You know the sort of pretentiousness: The Bourne Supremacy, The Aquitaine Progression, The Ludlum Impersonation, and so forth.) Then it happily occurred to another guest to wonder aloud what a Shakespeare play might be called if named in the Ludlum manner. At which point Salman Rushdie perked up and started to sniff the air like a retriever. “O.K. then, Salman, what would Hamlet’s title be if submitted to the Ludlum treatment?” “The Elsinore Vacillation,” he replied—and I find I must stress this—in no more time than I have given you. Think it was a fluke? Macbeth? “The Dunsinane Reforestation.” To persist and to come up with The Rialto Sanction and The Kerchief Implication was the work of not too many more moments.

December 13th, 2010.

21 Responses to “The Pokemon Directive”

  1. YankeeMick Says:

    The rialto sanction…sounds like the time it was decided to break out the winter stash..

  2. Eoin Says:

    Yes, and the next day was called The Rialto Sectioning.

  3. Darragh Says:

    That anecdote is pure class. I wish Rushdie’s novels had the same humorous economy.

  4. gueuleton Says:

    The Rialto Sanction is The Merchant of Venice but any idea what The Kerchief Implication is Eoin or Darragh?

  5. Eoin Says:


  6. gueuleton Says:

    Doh! Never studied that one.

  7. Correcto Says:

    You missed one.. ‘Harlan Kane’ also wrote “The Fuddruckers Ultimatum”

  8. tom Says:

    The Vespucci Containment
    He’s cartographin everything !

  9. tom Says:

    The Genghis Rubicon
    Rock Crawling the trails of Attila .

  10. tom Says:

    The Pinochet Sudoku

  11. tom Says:

    The Nostradamus Mechanism
    Typists .

  12. tom Says:

    The Brenda Effect
    It’s got extra Iron.

  13. tom Says:

    The Picasso Imbroglio
    Not always pretty

  14. tom Says:

    The Mamaduke Betrayal
    The carpet again .

  15. tom Says:

    The Harlequin Protocol
    Cheerful disposition at all times .

  16. tom Says:

    The Godiva Gyroscope
    Eyes up.

  17. tom Says:

    The Abacus Conundrum
    How do the Koreans do it on their fingers ?

  18. tom Says:

    The Medici Codex
    Chilled food burns more calories .

  19. tom Says:

    The Ichabod Formula
    Black always blends .

  20. tom Says:

    The Perseus Enigma
    Get some pants you loser . Oooh I got boner from walking around naked . I gotta chop off some gals head . Douchebag .

  21. tom Says:

    The Pokemon Conundrum
    OMG ! LOL ! SNL Rules !

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