Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
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WORST SPAMMER EVER
[INT. SPAMMER HQ. DAY]
Spammer Capo: Listen up! Our technical guys have just breached the account of a… uh… [reads from clipboard] Ewan… Butler… Whaddiya got for me..?
Luigi: Penis enlargement, boss… [reacts to others] So it’s a cliche… So shoot me already! Capo: What say you Fat Tony?
Fat Tony: What about we try some of those, uh, whaddiya call… Crash diet ideas… [shrugs] The fuck do I know…! Get the fuck outta here…!
Capo: You ain’t saying much there, Joey boy… What’s on your mind? Broads? Prescription pills? No it’s broads, ain’t it? Its broads, I can tell…
Joey: Ah, jeez boss, I dunno… Maybe this’ll sound outta whack or som’in… But what about offering him, you know, the chance to meet his relatives. Again. This week. Having them pester him, “When are you getting married…? Why don’t you own a house..?” These young guys, they love that shit, believe me…
Wait a second… Guys? Where’re we going…? Why we goin’ to the docks guys…? Are we going swimming…? It’s kinda late and all… Guys…? Guys…?
[And so ends the career of the worst spammer of all time.]
December 15th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Fuggeddaboutit
December 15th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Most useless spam mail (and this is only today i’m talkin about) – Did you suffer a Gallbladder injury while using Birth Control?
December 15th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
What’s wrong with genealogy, I’d love to know more about my family tree!
December 15th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
@ Massey – just a hunch, but I think that’s aimed at women!
@ Alison – nothing wrong with geneology (or however the hell its spelled), I just think if you’re going lure me with someonething, which do you go with?
(a) Eoin, wild nympho sluts are waiting for you
(b) Eoin, millions of dollars are waiting for you
or
(c) Eoin, your relatives are waiting for you
December 15th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
My living relatives are boring bastards its true. But my dead relatives could be interesting!!
December 15th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
This stereotyping of Italian people is pathetic Eoin. Pathetic. Now where’s my-a spicy meat-a ball-a….