ireland

Irish Times/MRBI poll: were the public even at the same gig?

The latest Irish Times/MRBI poll, which shows support for Fianna Fail up three to 24%, is utterly baffling to me. That almost a quarter of the population would consider the bind this country finds itself itself in, observe the quality of leadership we’ve had for 21 of the last 23 years and think ‘Yep, more of the same please…’ Well, there’s only one possible explanation: Read the rest of this entry »

This is (barely) funny

Do you like Burger King? Read the rest of this entry »

You know the way life isn’t fair, right?

It’s Aidan. I might have guessed. “You know the way life isn’t fair..?” he asks. As opening gambits go, this is one of his better efforts. (The last time he rang with bad news, he said “You were never too fond of that coffee table, were you?”)

Immediately, my mind races through all sorts of horrific possibilities. Aidan has run over my dog. Aidan has impregnated my sister. Aidan has murdered my pregnant sister and run over my dog while making his getaway… It’s almost a relief when he coughs up the truth. Read the rest of this article.

Randomers: an apologia

By throwing-out time on a Friday night, the streets resemble a ripped seam or a Hieronymus Bosch painting come to life. The footpaths teem with swaying bodies and grimacing faces. Some are belligerent. Others are content. Others still are lovelorn. Most are drunk. And some… Well, some of us are peckish since you ask. In the bars and clubs from whence we were ejected, dim lighting encouraged coyness and prevarication. Here however, in the unforgiving glare of the late night florescent chip shop, conversations tend to be blunt and to the point. Read the rest of this entry »

Brendan Thompson getting his mickey caught in his zip in Junior Infants: a critical analysis

Picture it: a vibrant tableau of rural Irish childhood in the 1980s. Two lines of infants, marshalled by a prissy, short-sighted nun, queue in a freezing corridor, waiting for their turn to use the toilet. There is some perfunctory jostling and pulling of hair. But for the most part, it is an unremarkable scene. On the wall behind, a portrait of Pope John Paul II beams down serenely. Read the rest of this entry »

St. Patrick’s Day in Chinatown

I’ve been waiting all year to post this. One of my favourite ever bits from Late Night With Conan O’Brien. I promise, this is my last Conan-related clip for at least six months. Oh go on then sure, I suppose, one more won’t hurt… Read the rest of this entry »

Twenty Benson & Hedges, chewing gum and a packet of tmm-pmms…

The shop assistant squints. “What?” Aidan whispers it again. “A packet of tampons!” Read the rest of this article here.

THE MAN WHO WALKED INTO WALLS

It’s six o’clock on a Thursday evening and Hartigan’s – an old fashioned, family-run boozer on the doorstep of Stephen’s Green – is filling up with after-work drinkers. I’ve heard a few stories about this place. But this is my first time across its threshold.

With its rough-and-ready decor, bizarre zig-zag layout and curious blend of customers, Hartigan’s actually reminds me of nowhere so much (and I realise that this may be a pretty obscure reference for 99% of readers) as Julian’s of Midfield. Read the rest of this article here.

YOU’RE MESSING WITH THE WRONG COUNTRY, SLOVAKIA. MARK MY WORDS.

Just to recap. The Slovaks dupe some innocent punter into smuggling explosives into Ireland, potentially endangering, I dunno, some lives. Then they forget to mention anything about it for a few days. Now they’re insinuating that the whole imbroglio is somehow our fault. If that’s the way you want to play it, Slovakia, fine. No skin off our noses. But know this: you’ve made a powerful enemy this day.

This isn’t Iceland you’re messing. Do you even know what happens to countries who mess with Ireland? Didn’t Slovenia or someone pull you aside, try to talk some sense into you? They didn’t. Well, that’s unfortunate. Because you’re now going to suffer the consequences of Ireland’s wrath. What are we going to do about it? I’ll tell you what we’re going to do about it. Read the rest of this entry »

NEW ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING (CONTD.)

I’m think Lola might be turning into one of those hipster babies you read about. Seriously. The vintage baby-grows were the first hint. Also I’ve been trying to get into Animal Collective for about eight years now to no avail. She hears them on my iPod for ten seconds and she’s nodding along and playing air sampler or whatever. Now she’s enrolled in a crèche right next door to, well, I’m not going to say which bar. But if she starts hanging out with Maser, that’s the last straw. Read the rest of this entry »